Domestic Violence

Facts   Cycle of Violence    A Way Out    Help    Safety Plan

What is Domestic Violence - Domestic Violence is any physical or emotional abuse caused by anyone you currently have or have had a dating relationship with. This includes male/female as well as same sex relationships.

Domestic Violence Facts -

A woman is battered in the United States every 15 seconds. Domestic Violence can strike any household.

One-third of the homicides in this country are Domestic Violence related. Domestic Violence can be fatal.

National statistics indicate that as many as 50% of all women in American experience violence in their intimate relationships.

Besides beatings, battering can involve threats of violence, verbal abuse and/or sexual assaults. Domestic Violence is not something anyone enjoys, asks for or deserves.

Victims of Domestic Violence often feel isolated, powerless, fearful, guilty and dependent financially and/or physically. Domestic violence can leave victims feeling trapped and unable to help themselves.

Children who learn violence at home are at risk to continue the violence in their own relationships as adults, either as batters or as victims. Domestic violence can have a long-term effects on children.Spousal abuse in California is a crime and the batter can be sent to prison. Domestic violence is intolerable and must stop!

Why do they stay?

The most frequently asked question concerning a battering situation is why does she stay? While reasons cover the range from children, love, guilt, fear, pride, embarrassment, financial dependence or a combination there of it is very possible the woman is unaware that she may be locked into a violence cycle.Increasing Spiral of Violence

Once the violence has begun, it continues to increase in both frequency and severity. Understanding the psychological consequences of her violent relationship can help the victim take power and choose constructive alternates, as well as aid those who intervene to help her.

The Three-Phase Theory of Family Violence

Tension-building Phase:

During this phase the woman senses her mate's increasing tension. He is "edgy" and perhaps challenges her and tells her she is stupid, incompetent, etc. The women may internalize her appropriate anger at the man's unfairness and experience physical effects such as depression, tension, anxiety and headaches. As the tension increases, minor episodes of violence, such as pinching, slapping or shoving increase.

Acute-Battering Phase:

The tension-building phase ends in an explosion of violence. The woman may or may not fight back following the battering because she is in a state of physical and psychological shock. The man discounts the episode and underestimates the woman's injuries.

Loving Reconciliation Phase:

During the last phase of the family violence cycle, both parties have a sense of relief that "it's over." The man is often genuinely sorry for what happened and is fearful his partner will leave him. He apologizes and may "shower" her with love and praise that helps her repair her shattered self-esteem. He tells her he can't live without her, so she feels responsible for his well-being and guilty for her actions and blames herself for what led up to the abuse.

A Way Out:

Everyone has the right to be safe from threats and beatings, but you must take the first step. Once you recognize that it isn't your fault and it is possible to change your situation, seek the help you need to correct your situation.

If You Become a Victim of Domestic Violence

Call the police or sheriff

Make sure you are safe from another beating. Whenever you are in danger, leave your home and take your children with you. Also, take important papers such as your birth certificate, vehicle registration, school and vaccination records, address book etc. Develop a safety plan.

Get medical attention. Don't try to treat yourself. You may be injured much more seriously than you realize.

Seek assistance. Whether or not to file charges against your batterer, you may need to talk to a professional about your situation. Contact your local battered women's shelter, women's support group or victims assistance center.

Save all the evidence (proof) you can. You should take photographs of your injuries. Whether or not to file charges now, you may later change your mind and will then need proof that you have been assaulted.

Help is AvailableWomen's Transitional Living Center (714) 992-1931

Domestic Violence Hotline (800) 799-SAFE (7233)

Human Options (714) 891-8121

Laura's House (714) 366-4972

Domestic Violence Advisement

Persons that are taken into custody for Domestic Violence may be released from custody at any time.

If you have been the victim of an assault or other related conduct, you may request the District Attorney's Office file a criminal complaint. The District Attorney's Office may be contacted at (714) 773-4480.

As a victim of domestic violence, you have the right to go to Superior court in Orange to obtain a restraining order. You can contact Victim/Witness at (714) 935-7956 for further information. They are located at 341 The City Drive, Orange.

You have the right to file a civil suit for losses sustained as a result of the abuse. For additional information contact Victim/Witness at (714) 935-7956.

More information is available through the Justice Department's Violence Against Women Office.

  Safety Plan

 Find:

A supportive friend or neighbor

A safe house

Keep an emergency kit in a safe place:

Extra keys for house and car

Cash

Important papers (see below)

Clothes

Medicines

List of emergency phone numbers

Important Papers:

Birth Certificates

Court papers

School records

Bank books/checkbook

Registration/title for car

Children's physical and shot records

Insurance cards and information